


She Wants

by smoopsis



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst and Porn, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:14:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1567523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoopsis/pseuds/smoopsis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A porny, slightly angsty post-203 ficlet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Wants

It's not until they're back at Felix's loft that Delphine finally manages to catch Cosima's eye. They'd both been quiet during the cab ride home, equally exhausted from the bizarre and agonizing process of dissecting Jennifer. Delphine can't help but feel guilty. She'd hoped to shock Cosima in some way; force her to truly confront the severity of her illness, but now that Cosima has stopped joking, the usual smile disappeared from her lips, Delphine thinks that she's made a mistake. It's stupid, of course. They have to get to work at some point; there is clearly a limited amount of time to find a cure, but... it feels wrong, now. 

“Are you okay?” It must be the tenth time she's asked today alone. 

“I'm fine.” 

Delphine reaches her hand out and picks an imaginary piece of fluff from Cosima's shoulder, who flinches. This is why she hasn't touched her all day. Delphine has been able to tell – it's not just Jennifer that's been playing on her mind, but Jennifer's boyfriend, her monitor, too. 

“I'm sorry.” Delphine is wondering if she'll ever stop apologizing. “Cosima... please talk to me.”

Cosima looks wearily up at Delphine again, slumped on Felix's couch a few inches away. “What do you want me to say, Delphine? Do you want me to tell you how fucked up this is? How shitty watching those videos made me feel? Can't you already tell?”

It seems like every conversation they have these days is a tight-rope walk, with Delphine constantly dangling a foot in thin air. When she thinks she's being caring and kind, Cosima just seems to withdraw more, and when she tries to dig deeper, Cosima snaps back at her.

“I just thought it might help for you to... to verbalize your feelings. That's all.”

Cosima shrugs and looks away again. “I don't want to talk.”

“Then let's do something else. I'll make dinner. Or would you like me to order pizza? Anything you want.” Delphine tries a small smile, attempts to cajole Cosima back to the easy domesticity they shared just a few weeks ago. “We can watch a film?”

“Delphine...” Cosima sighs, leans over, and rests her head on Delphine's shoulder. “Just stop.”

It hurts, to be shut down, but at least they can touch again. Delphine shifts, wraps an arm around Cosima and rests her hand gently along her side, her fingers gently stroking the patch of skin between Cosima's jeans and t-shirt. All Delphine wants to do is talk, to apologies, to explain, to sort out this mess in her mind, but in lieu of that, there is physical intimacy. She presses a kiss to the side of Cosima's head, lingers and breathes in the scent of patchouli that is so deeply entwined with Cosima now. Another kiss, to Cosima's forehead, and again to the tip of her nose, and finally Cosima smiles, just for a second. When she draws back Delphine almost screams, please, let me have something, but it's only so that she can turn and press her own kisses to Delphine's cheek, lips, neck. 

Sometimes Delphine wonders, is this a relationship? They fuck, yes, and they work together all day long, and they sleep entangled in Felix's bed. But emotionally, it is all left unsaid. Delphine has tried – but the 'L' word seems to get stuck in her throat each time she tries to say it, and Cosima will never bring it up. 

She gasps as Cosima's teeth skim over her pulse point. This will do, as always, this will do for now. She pushes Cosima back, forces her away only to return the favor and bite gently down on her neck. The low growl it draws vibrates through her lips and so she bites harder, presses Cosima onto her back on the cushions and holds her there, licking a path up to her mouth, which is open, wet and warm. Cosima kisses her hard, almost as though she's trying to push Delphine away, but Delphine holds firm, bites Cosima's lower lip and twists her hips just so, relishing in the sharp moan elicited.

They rock together, Cosima's hands scratching up Delphine's back, dragging her shirt up until Delphine gives, breaks away and pulls the thing off herself. She pauses for a moment, just to memories the sight and feel of Cosima under her, but Cosima is already bucking upwards, trying to roll them so Delphine is on her back. Still straddling Cosima, Delphine pulls her lover's top off and throws it to the sides, unbuttons Cosima's jeans, and in one swift movement pins Cosima back down, wrists trapped above her head by one of Delphine's hands. 

They pause like that, settle into each other, Delphine searching Cosima's face. She wants to ask again, Are you okay? But Cosima's steady gaze tells her not to, and then Cosima's bucking hips tell her to keep going. Delphine relents, but slowly, and takes advantage of this position of power to draw the moment out. She leans down, kisses Cosima languorously and pulls away when Cosima tries to kiss back harder.

“Ah-ah.” Delphine can't quite help herself, she shakes her head, a small, sly smile tugs at the corners of her mouth and she presses the forefinger from her free hand to Cosima's lips. Her lover's eyes narrow, briefly, but they flutter closed as Delphine's finger trails down over her throat, skimming over the channel between Cosima's breasts, and slips under the waistband of her jeans. There's a strangled gasp when Delphine first strokes down over the outside of Cosima's underwear, and full-throated moan as Delphine pushes the lace aside and slides two fingers against Cosima's center.

Her other arm aches with the effort of both pinning Cosima and holding herself up, so Delphine pauses again, poised at Cosima's entrance, and leans her mouth down to Cosima's ear.

“Cosima.” A whisper.

Her lover bucks again beneath her, groans when Delphine's hand slides over her clit.

“Cosima!” Delphine's tone is sharper, and she pulls her hand away, forcing Cosima to whimper almost petulantly. “I am going to release your hands...” she licks along the shell of Cosima's ear, “But you will not move them,” then bites Cosima's earlobe softly, “Understand?”

A few seconds pass, and Delphine worries that she's ruined it, that Cosima will switch off again. But the moment has not passed, she feels Cosima nod her head just slightly. Delphine's blood runs suddenly hotter, and she pushes her fingers back down, ready to take Cosima.

“I asked you, do you understand, Cosima?”

There's another strangled whimper, and it sounds enough like a yes, please, that Delphine can't help herself any longer. She lets go of Cosima's wrists and lowers her body down, pushing inside Cosima in one sudden, smooth motion. Cosima is tight, clenching, vibrating against her, and Delphine fucks her slowly, mouth pressed against her ear, her neck, burying herself as far inside Cosima as she can.

Cosima's arms stay above her head, and Delphine misses them, wishes she could feel them wrapped around her, pulling her closer and scratching down her back. But this is what she asked for. For Cosima to do as she says, to let Delphine in, to allow Delphine the freedom of her body. Delphine can pretend, this way. When Cosima is touching her, Delphine is the one who is open, vulnerable, and she is sure that every time Cosima makes her come, she can see every lie Delphine has told all over again. But now Delphine's fingers curl inside Cosima, her thumb pushes down on Cosima's clit, and Delphine is making Cosima fall apart. And when Cosima's muscles are still pulsing around Delphine's fingers, Delphine can watch the lazy smile stretch over Cosima's face and feel like she has done something good.


End file.
